Kiss Catchers


Jesus has invited me to Israel.

We are two pieces left on a chess board.

He is the King and I am His pawn.

The first match begun on the 9th September 2017.

1/ABBA Father put His pawn across the railway line which crosses White Hart Lane, Barnes.

His evil opponent quickly snatched Abba’s pawn off the board.  Thinking Abba wouldn’t notice – but He did.  And sent His troops to fetch her back.

2/ABBA then put His pawn on the Kenya Airways flight at terminal 5, Heathrow, 8th October 2017 and sent her to Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.

3/ABBA walked His pawn across the bridge to the Royal Livingstone Hotel, Zambia on the 11th October 2017.

4/On the 15th October 2017 ABBA brought His pawn back to Victoria Falls and put her on a bus and sent her to Troutbeck, Nyanga.

ABBA’s opponent tipped his king and resigned from the game.

Nine months later on the 1st July 2018, Abba brought her back from the other side of the railway line.  

A rematch begun on the 3rd December 2019 between ABBA and player B.

And when I get across the board to where the evil king is – I get to play kiss catchers with Jesus.

1/ABBA put His pawn at the Barclay household.  No relation to the Barclay twins who own Breqhou Island.

2/ABBA put His pawn in Hammersmith, at Vanessa Redgrave’s old house next door to where the brother of the Barclay twins once lived.  His pawn was in Hammersmith exactly seven years earlier on an assignment with Douglas Hurd.

3/ABBA moved His pawn to Winchester exactly seven months after she escaped and abandoned her client’s car at Winchester University.

4/ABBA moved His pawn up to Westminster to work for a South African Jew.  It was during the vote on the BRexit deal in mid-January this year.

Then He gave me 16 days off to go to my court hearing – write my Life in the UK test – have my wisdom tooth out and do my English test.

5/ABBA moved His pawn across to Cambridge on the 13 February to the same job she was in exactly two years ago when her Psst! Article was first written for Matador U.  

Where I found a knitted hippo in my bedroom drawer made in Zimbabwe by a shamwari called Laizah, who knits for Gogo Olive and who chose to call her mvuu (hippo in Shona) – KIM.  And nobody knows who left it there.

During  my Hammersmith assignment, I had Christmas off and checked into the Premier Hub in Westminster on Christmas Eve, with a bad cold and spent Christmas Day dosing myself with brandy – lemon and honey.

I had to cancel a lunch invitation and spent my first Christmas alone.  Sherlock Holmes was fully booked so I walked over the footbridge towards the London Eye.

There was a man kneeling on the ground at South Bank, switching a ball under three cups with great speed.  He had a wad of cash in his hand.  People were betting to guess which cup the ball was under.  It was so obvious where it was but the players were getting it wrong and losing their money.

I went and drew £50 and went in with a guy as the bet was up to £200.  We both agreed which cup the ball was under and he had his foot on top to prove it.  The cup was lifted and the ball was missing.  A man standing behind me told me not to play as they are all friends and he steals the ball from under the cup.  I walked off in shock and burst into tears.  Deception is so evil.

There were two similar groups on the way to Westminster Bridge – I stopped to observe their feeble acting.  It’s clear whose who in the zoo when you take your eye off the ball.

I asked one of the gang leaders where he was from and he said Torchia.  I had never heard of Torchia and asked if that was below Russia.  He had never heard of Russia and disappeared into the crowd.

To end off Christmas I sat at the Blue Boar Smokehouse eating a hamburger and reading the whiskey labels in front of me – Dalmore whiskey I knew since I had a job with Mrs McKenzie in 2012, who used to own it.  And  Johnny Walker’s Blue and Black reminded me of a bottle of  Johnny Walker’s White Label, I saw at the pool bar of Victoria Fall’s Kingdom Hotel on Christmas Day last year.

At my Westminster job I asked a policeman on the street outside parliament if he knew about the gambling that goes on at South Bank.  He did and I told him that they tricked me and I lost £50 on Christmas Day.  He asked me why I would be playing that on Christmas Day.   I asked him why they can’t stop them and he told me it’s because the gang make a lot of money doing it and warn each other before the police get there – even if they are undercover.  While they are openly committing a crime of deception?

On finishing my job I caught the 87 bus to Clapham on the wrong side of the road and ended up in Aldwych.  I walked to a bus stop at Trafalgar Square and stoodby as Theresa May drove passed in her silver grey Jaguar with blue bumper lights flashing.

I then had a small claims court hearing before District Judge Trigg at the County Court in Guildford, claiming my outstanding invoice from Rachel Townsend, as housekeeper for her father.  She was counter-claiming for eight days parking fines and nine days storage at William’s Garage, Winchester after I parked her father’s car in the staff parking lot at Winchester University and left my job during a call to escape.

I was arrested for this (Because I’m Worth It blog post).  In my interview at the Basingstoke police station I was told, together with my solicitor, Richard Dawes from Taylor Street Solicitors LLP, that the car had been stolen and spotted in Wales.

At my court hearing I challenged the £330 storage fee because if it had been stolen and was being held for forensic investigation – there are no charges during this time.  But Rachel Townsend disagreed that it was stolen and Judge Trigg wanted proof that it was.  So I have written to Michael Lane, the police commissioner at Basingstoke, asking him for that in writing.  Because police don’t lie.

The photo prints Rachel Townsend submitted, were to prove that I had damaged the car and owed them £745.20, for an old ding on the front bumper.  This was there prior to me starting the job and is probably why they won’t submit a claim to their insurance company.  The car looks like it has been cropped out and superimposed to show it was at a garage.

I was also asked to pay £20 for cleaning the inside of the car.  The photo print shows a clear bag with green ‘slush’ in and a clear lunch box with food in.  Neither of which I’d seen before.  I told the judge who immediately shut me up.  But I’m still so curious.  I can see my jeans on the seat together with my black jacket.  But I only got my jacket returned.  And Rachel denies seeing my jeans.

It’s my birthday tomorrow.  I wanted to spend it in Israel but instead I have to stay in the UK as my ancestry visa is about to expire and I must remain whilst my ILR visa is being processed.

I am going as far north of England that I can go without a passport.

Orkney Islands.

My Great-great grandmother, Elizabeth Hepburn nee Reid was born in Westray, Okney in 1843.   She married James D Hepburn, who studied at the London Missionary Society.  They journeyed to Africa in the 1870’s to be Khama III’s (Botswana) missionaries for 25 years.

Their son, Tom Hepburn married Erica Helm who was the daughter of my Great-great grandparents, Rev Charles Helm who had also studied at the London Mission Society and who married Elisabet von Puttkamer, a Prussian noblewoman.  They served King Lobengula as missionaries in Matabeleland in the Mid 1800’s.

With amazing courage they travelled to Africa by ship and then through the wild African bush for six months by ox wagon with their babies, so that they could teach the gospel to tribal kings and their people.  They learnt their language too.  Their long and brave journey made it possible for me to be born in Zimbabwe but I wish I could have been as brave and adventurous as them.

I know King Jesus, the God of Heaven and earth is so wild and beautiful and I think He should choose the whole of Africa to rule and since it is already joined to Israel – He might as well take the whole lot. I think Headquaters should be in Zimbabwe aka Teapot Land.  Then He could have the waterfalls and mighty rivers and all the elephants and lions too.  And all the jewels.

He owns it all anyway – so He can decide.

And make it all new.

He’ll stand upon a rock overlooking Victoria Falls and roar – and His mighty Angel army will respond to His call.

And anyone who has hurt His lioness or her cubs – Eish!

Exodus 15 vs 13 “the LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name”

Deuteronomy 32 vs 35
Vengeance is Mine, and recompense; their foot shall slip in due time; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things to come hasten upon them.

Matthew 10 vs 34
Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth.  I did not come to bring peace but a sword.

One response to “Kiss Catchers

  1. Pingback: Out Of Africa | Kim On A Mission

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