A Love Letter to My Turtle Dove

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Gentle steps

 

When I called out to you in a desperate cry did you rescue him?

And did you save her before I knew she needed to be?

And would you guard me as you have Israel?

And would you fight my enemy?

Your greatest commandment is that I love Elohim with my whole heart

I showed you when you sent me into the wilderness for 40 weeks to test me

Even once I had the knowledge of good and evil

I never hid

And Yeshua came to minister to me

Your second commandment is that I love you as you were me

I know you in my innermost being

I love that you are so so kind

You are so patient

You are such a gentleman

You care about every little detail of my day and never ever nag me

You are so wise yet you allow me to discover too

You’ve taught me to go even when I’m scared because I will have You to cling to

You exposed the lie and told me the truth

You’ve freed my mind and given me peaceful thoughts

You know my humour and make me laugh

You broke the chains off my heart so that I can sing what you’ve written on my heart

You’ve given me eyes to see and ears to hear

You speak to me throughout the day

I couldn’t spend one second of the day without you

You are my best friend

You search my heart and know my thoughts

Even in my darkest hour you kept me going and made it fun

You comfort me

Counsel me

Guide me and lead me and never let me fall

You set my plans and position me to fulfill the story my father has written for me

You never control

Only free me to love you with my whole heart

You never forsake me nor leave me

You chose yourself to create me

I have never been of this world

Your only purpose for me on this interim earth has been to serve you alone

To be groomed by you to fly away with you forever upto into heaven

To be presented as a gift to my Abba and Yeshua

My race is almost complete

Where is the finish line?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And you know me

 

 

 

 

Angels

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Yeshua said in John 1:51 that we will see angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.

Hebrews 1:14 Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?

Jesus said in Matthew 26:53 Do you not think that I cannot now pray to my father and He will provide me with more than twelve legions of angels?

Psalm 91:11 – 12 For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.  In their hands they shall bear you up lest you dash your foot against a stone.

In 1998 I was living on a farm outside Mafikeng.  I had left the Arts Council to run my guest farm.  My parents had left their property next door and rented it out.  One night their house burnt down and my father then sold it to me which I tried to sell through an estate agent.  Business was slow and my phone line had been cut.  It was during this time that I started to pray every night for Yeshua to help me.  I believed in Him although I never knew Him intimately.

After a few months the property still wasn’t sold so I started trying to sell it on my own.  One day a black man came on foot to ask me if he could buy it.  He had recently received a retrenchment package from the prison and quickly bought it.

It took months for the transfer to come through when eventually I received the call from my lawyer to say that the money had been paid into my account.  I put on Alanais Morisette’s Thank You and sat under my desk crying.  It’s the first time I really felt Yeshua showing me His power.

I drove to the bank and withdrew enough money to pay my phone bill.  I was soaring when I walked into Telkom.  There was a queue at the counter and standing at the back of the line was a blonde man who stood out.  In all my life I had never seen such a man in person – in a magazine – or on screen. He was too good looking and dressed in a stylish suit.

Which could have resulted in me walking straight passed and through the – Staff Only – door and up to the first desk.  I was too excited for them to chase me out.  After they had sorted out my bill I looked up and the gorgeous man was standing inside with me a little away from the desk with his legs slightly apart and his arms folded – smiling at me.  I left floating.  This was the first time I had seen an angel.

In Mafikeng if there was a tent next to a police block I would drive over pavements to reroute.  As they took your license and looked up on a computer if you had any outstanding fines which you had to pay on the spot or have your car impounded.

One day I was driving out of town along the open road back to the farm when I reached a roadblock with a tent.  I was trapped and casually told my daughter I’m going to prison as I had at least six outstanding fines. Only to be met by a tall black man with an American accent – this was Mafikeng.  The Tswana people are short and lighter skinned.  He was very friendly which was unusual and he didn’t even take my license to be checked and let me go through.

Another time I was on the farm when a black man was calling me from outside my electric gate.  My daughter was with me and I walked up to the gate praying.  He told me that he had seen a child’s bicycle in the bush along the road.  So I naively asked him if he could fetch it for me.  I think he actually wanted me to go out with him.  When he brought it back – it was my daughter’s bike.  I took it and thanked him.  But then his eyes changed – they became glossy – like when someone has smoked pot.  He started to walk towards me – saying he wanted an Afrikaans wife.  I told him I’m Zimbawean.  And then he started to fumble off backwards into the thorn tree behind him – he looked in shock and then turned and ran away.  I was perplexed but I am sure he saw an angel standing behind me.

One night I was alone with my daughter on the farm.  I had two other cottages which I rented out and both tenants were away for the weekend.   We were asleep in my bedroom which fortunately a year prior I had put in burglar bars and a security gate.  The rest of the house had no security.  Around 2am someone entered my home through the kitchen window and turned on all the lights.  Knowing that we were all alone and no threat.  He went through my rondawel making a huge racket.  This was one of my fears and yet I had no fear.

Just as well cell phones were around then and I calmly phoned my daughter’s teacher who lived in town to call her brother who lived on the farm next door to me.  Her cellphone was in the lounge but she had just got up to go to the kitchen to get water when she heard it and was able to phone her brother.  Whose phone was on silent next to his bed but his Jack Russell was in the house as it had recently had surgery and needed to be let outside.   He had been ignoring his dog’s prompts so it jumped onto his bed and bit him.

When he got up using his cell phone as a torch he noticed the call coming in and was able to respond.    He drove up to my fence where he saw about seven black men standing by my car.  And fired a shot which dispersed them and sent the one in my cottage back out my kitchen window.

My other two cottages had been broken into too.  I got burglar bars and security gates fitted in my rondawel that day.  And a few days later I was in my cottage and sensed that I was being watched from the bush.  I locked all my doors.  And that night the other two cottages were robbed again.  Some of their stolen goods were found at a house in a nearby location which belonged to criminals who had recently gone to jail after raping and torturing a woman in Coligny.  They were in prison in Coligny but had escaped and then murdered a farmer and raped his wife in Lichtenburg and stolen their bakkie.

A few days after the burglary I was walking with my daughter to the pit to throw away rubbish.  When I faced my second worst fear.  As I was approaching the pit I sensed danger – it was like a buzzing sound around me.  When I came to the pit there lay a puff adder on the other side which then slowly slid away.

This all happened just after I had thought I could settle in Mafikeng since I was getting paid well and my daughter was in a good school.  But God had other plans.  For me to return to Zimabwe and then later on to come to the UK.

In 2016 one evening in the UK I was trying to get back to Verwood from Bournemouth but had missed the last bus.  I was on steroids for cancer which my haematologist was weaning me off since they had made it difficult for me to concentrate and to talk without stuttering.  The bus at the stop was showing  X3 Salisbury.  I asked a tall black man standing on the pavement if he knew how I could get back to Verwood – he smoothly glanced over to the bus and said that one is going to Verwood.  The bus had changed from Salisbury to read Verwood.  I rushed to the bus – a couple were in front of me and asked the driver for tickets to Salisbury.  He was annoyed and said the bus isn’t going to Salisbury.  And they said ‘you’re joking’.  But he wasn’t – the route had changed.

About a week later I was taken to Bournemouth hospital because of my reaction to steroids (Psst blog).  My first night in the cancer ward I saw a man standing at the reception desk.  He stood out to me so I knew he was different.  He had a lovely smile.  A couple of days later I had a drip in my arm which suddenly became very sore – it felt like the needle was twisting in my vein.  I was calling the nurses to take it out and just then my mother walked through the door – I screamed in fear.  Then the man I had seen at the desk that night rushed in and sat down on the bed next to me and said,

‘Kim you’re scared of snakes – aren’t you?’  I was quite stunned that he was actually beside me but calmed down.

He then walked out and told my mother who was standing in the passage,

‘Don’t worry she’s just scared of snakes.’  And rushed off.  My mother said he had the kindest eyes.

A day or two later when the Pulse staff were trying to force me to take medication – I told them we needed to compromise.  I needed to tidy my room first.  A nurse was helping me make my bed but that same man was standing in my room too and briefly tucked the sheets in at the end of my bed.  I was too shy to look at him as I knew he was holy.  When I was back in the same ward having chemotherapy I asked the nurses if they knew who he was and none of them knew who I could be referring to.  Just as well my mother saw him otherwise I would have thought I made him up.

In 2017 when I was ‘down the rabbit’s hole’ and thrown into hospital I had phoned 999 because the black staff were banging on my bedroom door screaming at me.  The next day I was sitting in my room when I heard some men outside my door.  They were talking to one of the staff – a white guy who didn’t like me – telling him they had come to change my bedroom lock.  He told them it wasn’t my lock but the room next door’s that needed to be changed.  They insisted it was mine and knocked on the door – I was sitting reading ‘Becoming my Beloved’ and they looked into my room and said ‘Ah yes’.

I was asked by the staff in a jittery tone if I would be able to give these men time to change my lock – so I left my room.  And when I walked passed with my head down one of them gently  said ‘thank you’.  I went to the toilet and heard him outside my door say ‘Don’t worry darling – we’re the only ones with the key’.   Then they said to the staff that it was in fact the room next door that needed to be changed and proceeded to change that lock too.  I was standing in the reception area reading the notices when they walked passed me to leave.  And caught their reflections.  They walk with holy authority – just the way you would imagine Yeshua doing.  I soon left to accomplish my mission.

When I was at Royal Livingstone Hotel in Zambia I was sitting at the bar having lunch.  Next to me was a lady and on her otherside was an American man.  For some reason this man had been trying to get my attention days prior by telling me how rich we could be.  I was ignoring him.  He had said ‘Come on Kim – ‘Skinny’.  Which was the name I had given my rabbit I had with me at Bournemouth Hospital.

Anyway this couple were annoying me – talking complete nonsense – they do ‘down the rabbit’s hole’.  I had had days with this and eventually spoke up and said ‘Shut up!’.  Immediately a group of men sitting in the bar lounge stood up and one said ‘Christian! That’s her favourite author – John Eldredge.’ As I had my laptop open on Ransomed Heart.  I caught their reflection in the glass of the drinks cabinet.  I turned to watch them leave and again they walk with holy authority and I wanted to go with them.  I asked the waitress where they were going as I was trying to get out of the spirit world and she said they come back at 4pm.

One day in Stockbridge I had gone to the Co-op and there was a Chinese lady paying at the counter who said loudly ‘I smell fish’ when I walked passed.  She had a strange toddler with her – a white girl with weird blue eyes who stood in my way and looked up at me.  There are few children in the spirit world but when there are, they are very young and really strange looking.  I told her to ‘scoot’ and walked out and turned onto the pavement.  A man with hair just like mine came striding towards me.  He was exciting because he was in jeans and a t-shirt but still in authority and as we walked passed eachother it felt like we were on the ‘same page’.  He looked like he could have been my twin brother.  Again he was not like anyone I had seen before.   I thought it might be Yeshua and felt a bit shy that I was instead supposed to have been loving Him like a brother and not so love sick chasing Him to Africa and back.

But I was right because Yeshua did show up about a week later and He out of all the angels I have seen over all these years – is even more gorgeous (Lion Of Judah blog).  He is masculine and the most handsome but yet He has an inviting mysteriousness which only a woman has but He is in no way feminine.   It’s really hard to explain because I have never experienced that in a man before and it matches the very sensation I have in my spirit when I have that longing feeling.

As real as heaven and hell are – so is the spirit world.  You can see into the spirit world with drugs or trauma.  But you can also physically enter it – that’s the big ‘scientific secret’.  I had The Holy Spirit leading me all the way through and I was surrounded by Holy angels to protect me throughout – so many times they stood in to get me through it.   They have tremendous authority.  My goal was to find Yeshua and it started with the sense of urgency that the rapture was imminent.

When we leave the Holy Spirit does too – He is the Restrainer.  And then I can only imagine that the spirit world will meet with the real world during the tribulation.  Institutions won’t have space to imprison those left behind on earth – who will be driven mad by what they experience – only camps will.

2 Kings 2:16 Do not be afraid for those who are with us are more than those who are with them

Brexit – A Conundrum

I arrived on an assignment in Westminster a few days before Boris Johnson announced to prorogue Parliament which brought out demonstrators in London.

I had left my camera at home and had to pay £144 for it to be couriered overnight.  Instead of packing my charger, my dad put my external DVD player in the box and my camera was flat.

I paid the porter to take my battery to a camera shop in Victoria for them to charge for an hour before my break.  Then had two hours to photograph a demonstration before rushing back to my job with The Baroness, an ex peer from the House of Lords.

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The UK vote to leave the EU

Theresa May and the EU agree with a deal

The MP’s reject the deal

So there is no deal

The date to leave extends

And extends

And extends

And extends

To make a deal

When there is no deal

Referendum – Rejection – Extension

And now they want

Extension – Rejection – Referendum

I’d be surprised if the EU don’t give the UK up

For adoption

 

Israel

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Masada

She stood on her own.

You see she’d been prepared for this for a long time coming.

She was born into a war.

She learnt to steal sweets at around four knowing that believing in fairytales wouldn’t get her far.

In her teens after school she would enter a shop – grab a string of Caramello Bears and walk out.  Or fill a motorbike helmet. Or collect donations using a pencil then rub it out and spend the money on sweets.  And jump trains to go to the beach.  Or bunk out after midnight and hitch to nightclubs and fake her age to get in.  She learnt to be streetwise.

She dreamt of being free and travelling the world.

And didn’t get far.  She ended up in the desert for survival techniques.  With a little boy who was good and wise beyond his years.  With a brilliant mind and natural talent.  Her little warrior.

Who stopped her from climbing an electric fence one night after her bakkie broke down when they had to walk for hours back to the farm.  And who would stand guard while she sneaked around at night to switch her neighbour’s water pipes to fill her windmill tank.  And try to prevent her going out on her own at night because she would drive home with the white lines swirling across the road.

After her debauchery ended she was allowed to have a gift – a daughter.

Who had tantrums – bored easily – was stubborn and cheeky and would rather play more than anything else.  Full of character.

She tagged along with her to all night prayers at a Nigerian church – to missionary school – to work in an orphanage in Mozambique.  She lay by her side when robbers broke into their home one night.  She sat with her through flat tyres – breakdowns and getting stuck driving through the mud whenever it rained.  She’s walked with her across borders.  All for her to learn to keep pressing on.

Her daughter walked off in high heels and left her to face barrenness alone.  And like the Rose of Jericho she sprung up to face the storm alone by chasing after her King.

 

Raincheck

I was persuaded off the street in the Old City of Jerusalem to go into a shop to buy jewelery. I met the Arab owner inside who invited me into the back for a Cuban cigar and espresso and model in a Bedouin wedding dress. He then asked me out to dinner on a rooftop of a fancy restaurant to smoke cigars and drink the finest brandy – I gave him a raincheck. He insisted he would chase me back to Zimbabwe so I had to confess I was in love with another man whom I have known for a long time and only once seen. (Lion Of Judah blog).

Kum Ba Yah

Old City taken from the top of the Tower of David

I went for a walk in the Old City of Jerusalem yesterday and landed up in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and fell into the line to enter where Jesus’ tomb lies. Coming out from the tomb I noticed a huge painting which I studied in confusion. A Russian orthodox who works there came up to me so that I could ask him –

‘Whose the lady sitting on the throne?’

‘Mary’

‘And whose the man sitting on her left?’

‘It’s Jesus’

‘But he has a head on his lap!’

‘That’s John the Baptists’

‘And whose the baby on Mary’s lap?’

‘That’s Jesus’

‘And what’s the crown floating above Mary’s head?’

‘That’s Mary’s because she’s the highest of all’

What the flip.

He took me on a personal tour and showed me a door that led underground to one of the first churches. I found that the most interesting and asked if we could go down. He said he doesn’t hold the key and only prominent church leaders are allowed. I asked what they do down there but he wasn’t sure.

Last night Yeshua gave me a song to sing in Swahili. I don’t know Swahili but I pray and sing tongues in Swahili.

Omundungole tulenununga kombanako

Komana kubuluta

Lenda gunumo humbaga kumba

Suna nunga lelula

Humbadushe nduva kovuna

Kumbosuna kombana

Kumbokuledela sole fa

 

 

 

 

Lion Of Judah

I love sirens. In May I took a ride in an ambulance at a speed of up to 90mph in a 50 zone, from a town in Essex to Queen’s Hospital in Romford. Every other time I’ve been in an ambulance I’ve been captive. This time I felt like part of the crew. I had called 999 as my elderly client’s hand had gone numb. The paramedics arrived in 8 minutes and her BP was 194.

After I left my assignment I had a break inbetween to fit in pampering appointments and play my first game of golf in the UK, with an ex-farmer from Zimbabwe who lost his farm during the land invasions.

And my ILR permit for the UK arrived so I could finally book my flight to Israel.

I am now in an assignment just outside Salisbury for a lady who lived in Israel for some of her youth, as her father was a Colonel in the British Army during the British Mandate after the Balfour Declaration.

It was from here that I went to my visa appointment at the Israeli Consulate in London. As I’m a Zimabawean. The official who did my security check remarked that few white people are from Zimbabwe. I proudly told him that my Great-Great granny was of Jewish heritage. Their surname was changed from Roth to Reid to hide their identity.

As a married woman she went to Botswana as a missionary, as well as my other Great-Great granny from Prussian nobility who went as a missionary wife to Matabeleland. And eventually their son and daughter married eachother. I told him too that the Queen of Sheba was from Zimbabwe.

I didn’t tell him that I’m madly in love with the greatest man alive who was born a Jew. And that He has asked me to go (Kiss Catchers post).

My visa came a week later. And now I have butterflies in my tummy.

It’s the anticipation. It reminds me of when I was in Std 1 at Riverside Primary School in Gweru and a popular boy from Std 5 asked me to kiss him on the field when it’s the break time. I had to put my hand on his open palms like it were the bible and promise I would. I must have sat through class anxious that the school bell would ring because I then chickened out on the field.

And now I’m tiptoe-ing to the field.

Not too long ago I was boldly chasing after Yeshua – swearing things like if He doesn’t come get me ‘I’ll buy a box of cigarettes and stick one between each finger and smoke them altogether’ – the worst threat I could come up with when I was in Victoria Falls (Arrest Jesus post).

And then in May last year after posting On The Hunt, I was sitting all alone on the patio at Wood Fire in Stockbridge, having a brandy and smoking a cigar, which fortunately I had just put out.

When He showed up.

I instantly recognised Him like I’ve always known Him. He looked like He had just stepped off the page of a men’s style magazine. His shoulder length hair flowing as he strided towards me. His eyes were wild and His smile told a story. I felt like a giddy school girl. But then He turned and pulled out a chair a few feet away at a table to the side of me. I was facing towards the road and I could feel He was watching me – knowing I’m too chicken to look at Him. He is the most handsome man I have ever seen. You couldn’t possibly compare Him to anyone. He is God. And I know this because I was awestruck. It is His Glory. I could sense it. He is indescribable! Captivating! My heart was pounding. I was fighting so hard not to collapse. I know now that I couldn’t stand in His presence and not fall at His feet. My heart was on fire with burning love that I could hardly contain. And then after about a long minute, He calmly said ‘Go now’.

He had come to rescue me. Nothing is impossible for Him (Matthew 19 : 26)). I think I had got myself into big trouble ‘down the rabbit’s hole’ by breaking all the rules. But I didn’t know what the rules were. I was only told by one of the managers at Royal Livingstone that there are rules in the spirit world as I was being cheeky.

Hence all my arrests.

When I was at Royal Livingstone Hotel in Zambia in October 2017, I was sitting on the veranda eating breakfast. When a dark presence came from behind me – locking me down and making it difficult for me to keep my knife and fork steady to eat my egg and bacon. I pretended it wasn’t effecting me – clinging to my spirit to ward it off. I stood up after to turn and look the enemy straight in the eye, to let him know I mean war. And sitting there on his own is the bloke who ‘rules the top of the map’.

It’s not my fault I saw him. I didn’t even want to be there. I had no idea how I fell into that world in the first place – with no warning that it even existed. But my Abba Father sent me for a purpose. I guess his father sent him as well.

I was in that world for just over nine months. I think there is a time limit there which I way exceeded. I don’t know how it works – so I didn’t know how to get out. But anyhow I’m a highly trained professional something now – I’m not sure what. I wished I was a proper journalist and knew what my assignment was. And had a PA to help me be better organised. Then I would have had a full blown story. I am a brilliant actress though. And I’m so brave because that was so flipping scary sometimes. I wish it for no-one I like, except I don’t know who I like anymore. Maybe John Eldredge – and I’ll start my list from there because he really knows Yeshua.

Yeshua has asked me to go to Israel except I put a condition on it – that He must chase me this time. But now I’m worrying He will. Because I wrote ‘to play kiss catchers’ and those were my words not His and He is clearly reading my blog and might take me up on the offer. Since I was the one hunting Him and He caught me off guard at Wood Fire.

I’m just going to float on the sea – swim with dolphins – get pampered – explore – mind my own business.

And if He does arrive unannounced again – He has to take me with Him this time.

Else I will shoot Him.

With my camera.